02:20 Pm
10/03/2022
All day together: How to save your relationship
When you told your girlfriends that you needed more time with him,All day together: How to save your relationship you certainly didn't imagine the lock down or teleworking. But now that they have entered our lives, know that you will be together without problems
All day together: How to save your relationship
Until recently, your routine was something like this: You woke up in the morning, got ready for work, went to the office and came back in the afternoon. Unless you arranged to meet up with your girlfriends or had to go to the gym right after work, in which case you might be coming home early (or late) at night. Your partner did something similar. "Your" moments were limited to morning coffee, in the evening when you would go out to eat or watch a series together and of course on the weekends. In relevant research, these moments have been calculated at around 2-2.5 hours a day – that's how much time you spend together on average.
If you're like us, things have changed and radically. Now you call a corner of the living room where you have installed your laptop "office". The work dress code is sweatpants-over flowing T-shirt, flip flops and hair tie. And you rarely meet your girlfriends because you avoid crowds. And, most importantly, you have acquired a new "colleague", your partner, who also works from home, occupying the coffee table.
Balance on a tight rope
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Both you and your partner working from the same home can be very enjoyable. For a few days. Sure, it's great to take a lunch break to eat together and not have to spend so much time commuting to the office (save the gas money). But as you'll already know if you've been telecommuting for a week or more, that pleasant vibe usually doesn't last long.
"The most important thing to maintain a relationship is for its two members to be able to reconcile their differences," says Georgia Christina Kanellopoulou, psychologist-psychotherapist. "When you stay with each other almost all day, How to save your relationship : All day together these differences naturally magnify." Unlike our "normal" lives, where we say goodbye in the morning to meet again in the evening, after having spent a day full of meetings with other people and events that concern each of us individually, many of us are forced to share with our partner us not only space or time, but also our experiences. And that's not always something a relationship can handle with ease.
"A sudden and intense change in daily habits, such as when we need to move the workplace to the home or are forced to stay indoors most of the day, can cause tensions betweens this couples," the experts point out. "Add to this the general economic situation, the anxiety about health issues and the uncertainty about the future, all of which are prevailing today, and you have a cocktail so explosive that it can make your relationship crumble." And yet, it doesn't have to be that way. After all, no matter how difficult the circumstances are, they may be the ones that will make you great – both as a professional and as a partner.
How not to jeopardize your relationship
Acknowledge the difficulties: Accept that it will not be easy to live together for so many hours every day. Even if you're still in the fun phase, keep in the back of your mind that it's no coincidence that the phrase "do not mix business with pleasure" came up. That way, when (and if) difficulties arise, you will face it as something to be expected and not as a personal failure.
Make a plan: Start your day by drinking coffee together and making your plans. Discuss something that may have happened the previous day that was very helpful (or, conversely, annoying). Maybe today you should try to get him to take a break and run to the supermarket while you have the Zoom meeting with your boss? Or cook in the morning, before starting work, so you don't have to go back and forth to the kitchen where he has set up his desk?
Work in different rooms: If possible, it's a good idea to work in different rooms (if it has a door that can be closed between you, even better). Also, be sure not to take the work into the bedroom. The bedroom is for relaxing or expressing intimacy – a space dedicated to your relationship, not work..
Don't discuss problems at work: You may share the same desk (even if it's actually the kitchen table), but that doesn't make you colleagues. And since you already share the burdens of your family, home, and relationship, let's not burden each other with work matters. So when you hang up after a conference call that didn't go so well, don't start whining to your partner. Better contact a colleague and discuss your grievances.
Make time for yourself: As much as you love him, you need some alone time – and that's even more true when you're together all the time. You need to listen to the music you like,How to save your relationship : All day together read a book without interference or engage in a hobby of yours. Don't think you're being selfish if you take the laptop and lock yourself in the bedroom to watch Emily in Paris – chances are he doesn't want to watch it anyway.
Treat it as something you do to give your relationship room to breathe. By the same token, respect your partner's privacy. Determine together which spaces will be used by each of you as spaces of personal calm and introspection.
Be open about what you want: If you want to work in silence and he wants to listen to the radio, ask him to put on headphones. When you're trying to concentrate on writing an email and the way he's typing on his keyboard annoys you, Relationship All day to save explain to him that one of you needs to move to a different space. Accept responsibility for your feelings and don't let your partner guess what you're up to.
Talk about your problems without blaming him, using more "I" than "you" (eg "When there's music, I can't concentrate" or "When you're always on the computer, I feel lonely"). It is better to solve every issue at the beginning than to say nothing and accumulate irritation and complaints about each other.
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Don't stay at home all the time: Just because you're in the same house all day anyway doesn't mean there's no reason to plan to do something together. When you're done with your chores, put on something (nicer) and go for a walk or eat (even if the restaurants close at a certain time) or organize an excursion. Even in quarantine conditions, it is important to leave the house and change performances as much as the conditions allow. Also, arrange to meet other people, both together as a couple and individually....
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